1847hrs .. i was doing nuthin, i just wishing so hard that what ever it is that i felt is something that wasnt even real to start with. i've been waiting fer him,as i thought that i never wanna talk to him anymore .. my heart hurt .. n i couldnt even figure out y it is happening .. is it just a plain obsession, it's a good feeling but it so happens that it does hurt a lot too ..
i hate being hurt all the time, i know so well that this can hardly work out .. but still, at least there's still hope .. n when there's hope, there might be a chance. i was hoping fer something to happen but i'm not sure about all of it .. i just feel lost .. i think i'm gonna cry ..
i hate all this .. helppppppp!!!!!!!!!

ok .. just happen to tuck my nephew to bed, carressing his hair so he feel comfortable n knowing that i'm still there. suddenly i remembered .. doing d same thing to him, him who had capture my attention without trying so hard. n right now i can ask myself .. what is it that he had that made me love him so much without thinking so much of a reasonable doubt? i remember him being so nice and lovable .. being unconditional when so happens i'm not that perfect ..
i realize that may be he does love me a little bit, what made me wonder is that .. why havent he loves me as much as i do .. then. am i not capable to love anyone? i just established a connection to my home, which has allow me to remain contact to my fren in kl .. n also gather new frens. all of the new gals n guys fren that i met, one had captured my attention. he's so far in new zealand, n i'm here ..
i just thought i have a crush on him n that had made me worried .. he has never see me yet, but today .. he said he loves me .. i dont know what else to make of him. he's been sweet all this while, jokes a lot and somehow he does made me misses him. that wasnt supposed to happen since i knew it wasnt gonna work out. i just dont know what tomake of it anymore ..

well, its getting late somehow .. i remember telling my big sister that i'm missing Wan, the part that she didnt know is that .. i'm missing him terribly. all the sudden she ask, which one is it? i smiled, so .. there issomething that missed her senses ..