me .. so sad?!?!?

this last couple of weeks have been hell inside my heart, wat trigger d fire within me is still unknown to myself .. i feel insecure, there's nuthin or no one dat can help me to control dis feeling .. i feel lonely, no one wud care or understand how badly i am in need of a hand to hold me close .. i feel sad in jealousy, but its no one fault, its just me being so stupid to let all dis feeling take control over me ..

a very close fren of mine have found her happiness lately, n she take d opportunity to share it wit me, ouh n i'm so happy fer her .. but in silent i question my fate, y is my happiness always been taken away from me in a hurry .. i felt happiness, but when i'm trying to thank sumone fer it, it has been taken away from me .. sumtimes it went away in silence, sumtimes it went away in a gasp of a breath dat i try to breathe ..

have i been so mean before? have i hurt anyone before? i dont think so, cos as i remembered .. people keep hurting me .. hmm i know, i know .. i may have sound pathetic .. so, who cares ...