14th February 2009
p/s: i love you

I dont know, but all d sudden dis v day just making me feel all mushy and sloppy .. d show on tv is all lovey dovey, radio is mostly d same .. my niece and nephew also includes to making today is almost hell fer my feeling .. and without any gud excuses i'm making myself sensitive and teary; i didnt know why but i'm feeling so lonely and really alone ..

i do have frens and my family is close to me, but its just making me feel so lost and sad .. all d sudden i just reminded back to a love dat i cud have but i cant .. a love dat i wanted but was denied .. a love dat most welcome but had forbid to me .. i hate dis feeling, i cud cry over dis .. it felt right at one point but on d other hand, it doesnt ..

fer a dreamer i cannot touch, i send my love in a lullaby
fer a lilps i cannot kiss, i blow u one right now
fer a waist i cannot hold, i send to u my biggest kiss
fer a love i cannot consummate, i send to u my hottest letters
i only see u thru my computer, but i love u just d same
so i send to u dis page of dreams, to be my voice to u
and dis wonderful lullaby fer u to sleep
so we can hear it as we sleep, and touch in our dreams

its just a wonderful thing in life, but y people keep taking me fer granted? was i doomed not to have love at all???

Its February Again ..

Aper la yang sibuk sangat ngan bulan febuari ni? Bukannyer ader aper pun sebenarnye, its just sebab kite selalu tengok so jadi macam kebiasaan la, bukannya nak menyambut pun sebenarnye, cuma bila orang yang bercinta mula menunjuk2 nak2 lagi bulan ni, kita pun jadi terasa sama la bahang hangatnya cinta tu .. cheh bahasa ku ..

cam orang yang ader boyfren/girlfren, ader tunang, ader suami/isteri .. mesti seronok nak menghangatkan dunia cinta diorang, yang masih sendiri cam sya ni, pandang je la .. sedih ke? tak de la jugak, just terasa je .. kalau ader boyfren pun, bukannye leh sambut .. bukan nak sambut pun sebenarnye, just nak menunjuk .. tapi bukan ader orang faham pun .. nanti diorang akan cakap takkan nak jadi kafir kut .. astagaaaa ..

bukan nak ikut mengamalkan ajaran kafir .. menyambut kelahiran valentino tu .. cume nye, hmm meriah sket hidup kalau dihargai masa ni .. tul tak? (ke aku je ni?) pionss ooo pionss .. nak la bunge dalam 2, 3 tangkai .. bunge ros pink tau .. (cian nyer aku ni, sampai mintak kat pions lagi) huhuhuhuhu kadang bile teringat cinta yang tak kesampaian tu kan, sedih gak .. sedih sebab tak kesampaian .. ntah aper la masalah nyer yang leh tak kesampaian tu .. bukan nyer ader mintak aper pun, tapi tak de jodoh gak .. iye la kut ..

hmmm

A Babysitter By Day???

HUHUHUHUHU me??? babysit??? alamak aiii .. lotih den memikirkan ea. Last tuesday, sya pegi la umah akak sya kat seremban 2 .. die dah tunggu hari je(pegnen la ni) so, ari ni sebab die takut kena masuk spital, die mintak la sya tolong tengok2kan anak2 die yang 3 orang lagi .. adehhh dah lama lak tak jaga budak ni, risau gak .. kang sore terlebih kuat, ngadu lak budak2 tu kat bapak die. bukan takut pun ngan bapak die sebeno beno nye, cume kesian lak bile bapak budak tu tak leh nak marah sya balik ekekekek

so, on 14th January 2009 lahirlah seorang putera lagi untuk melengkapkan keluarga akak sya ni(huhuhu ayatku) namanya Mohd Izani Iskandar. suke tul la akak sya ni letak nama anak die panjang2, kang tak cukup kotak masa isi borang ntahapakebendenye kang sepanjang idup budak tu, tak ke naya? nasib baik la nama bapak ea tak panjang, sepatah je .. ekekek tak abih2 la sya ni ngutuk wakahakakhakhak (ampun akak n abang) banyak lak nak kena mintak maap raya tahun ni ehehehe korang2 sume, kalau sya ader buat salah yang tak sengaja, mintak di mahapkan la ye .. (sirius nih)

so citer pasal baby ni, die lahir dalam belah petang kalau tak silap, so akak tak leh balik lagi sebab doktor nak kena monitor baby tu punye health (apsal lak aku ni taip manglish nih???) so esok nyer(sya pun tak sabar nak jupe baby tu nih) kitorang beramai2 segerombolan pegi la tengok akak sya kat spital tuh (lama lak tak gi spital, jadi seram lak kejap) .. sampai je kat katil akak sya, sya terus nengok baby tu, alamak apsal lak cam kecik je baby ni, sya kata kat akak sya. akak sya kate, ape lak kecik, 3.25kg tu ..

3.25kg?? cam beso, tapi apsal lak baby ni nampak kecik? tak pe la, janji baby ni sihat, sya kate dalam hati. dalam pada takut sebab baby tu nampak kecik, gatal gak ni nak dukung baby tu .. menggigil beb, wa cakap lu .. huhuhu betul2 gegel, sebab dah lama tak pegang baby. sya pandang lama baby tu (mula la sandi kejap) ish ish ish comel lak baby ni, cerah lagi .. tengah duduk2 tu, nurse datang lak, comel wooo nurse die, kalau korang nak cari awek keje nurse, gi la spital seremban ekekek (free promosi lak aku ni)

sampai umah, agak petang sket sya nak freshen up kan baby tu, baby tu pun nampak rasa tak best je, may be sebab sejak lahir kemarin tu die tak rasa air lagi (iye ke? mandai je aku ni) sya siapkan air suam2 untuk lap2 je badan die, siapkan minyak kayu putih, bedak, losyen, pampers, barut n baju die, tak lupe gak ubat untuk tali pusat die (tang ni agak geli sket huahuahua) .. sya pun lap la badan baby tu, dari kepala, ke badan, sampai ke kaki die, pastu sapukan minyak kayu putih lak .. alamak aii minyak ni punye la wangi, suke tul sya bau minyak ni .. pastu, buh ubat kat tali pusat die, baru pakaikan barut .. then sapu bedak lak kat tiak die, kat leher die pastu kat belakang die ..

pakai la bedak johnson (wakhakhakahka iklan jap) .. pastu sya sapu la losyen, sebab baby baru lahir kan, kulit die agak kasar n menggelupas sket .. sedap lak baby tu kena urut tang tangan and kaki die .. dah siap sume tu, pakaikan la sarung tangan and kaki, kaler putih lagi .. pastu pakai baju lak .. dah siap sume tu, cium dulu kat leher die huyyoooo wangi nyer, anak sape la ni :) .. pastu last but not least bedungkan baby tu ngan kain yang jenis sejuk .. dah siap pun .. terus tido baby tu .. sya pandang lagi baby tu, damai je perasaan nye hmmm .. mana lak pegi mak baby ni??

mak baby (kakak sya la tu) leh duk tengok je .. astagaaaa sya tanye la apsal, die leh kata ape? tak berani nak buat sume tu sebab dah lama tak pegang baby .. ya ampunnnn .. ni memang dasar nak kena ngan sya la ni .. sya faham la masalah die ekekek ade history ni tapi tak yah la citer kat sini kan, cian die kang malu .. (ampun kak) so, lepas siapkan baby tu, sya leh amik pic dulu ekekkeke comel wooo sya suke sangat..

hmmm siang tadi, sya mandikan la baby tu, tapi kat dapur tu tengah siap nak masak, sya cakap la kat kakak sya, siapkan la ya, die leh kate ape? akak mana tau .. sya terus terpandang abang ipar sya, die terus geleng kepala tu .. akak sya ni la, buat malu je .. so sya pun siapkan la baby tu, pakai minyak, baju, wangi2 .. adehh lemah tul sya kalau ngan baby ni tau .. siap dah, amik pic lagi ekekkeke comel tak? comel tak? ok la, ni pun dah jauh malam, jap tadi baby tu nangis lagi, nak susu la tu ekekke sya pun nak tido ..

-out-

Sumthing's Gotta Give - Jack Nicholson, Deanna Keatton, Keanu Reeves

dis movie was actually played tonite on 8TV on popcorn 'n wednesday segment, i owez wanted to watch dis movie n actually did watch it .. i only get to watch 30 mins after d movie starts but wat d heck, i still watch it till it ends n d ends actually heart touching .. why do we owez cry wen we only realizes dat is d only thing dat we owez wants? why do we only realizes it wen we have lost it, wen we can never get it back? why do things happen wen all dat we cud ever want is dat person alone to be here n now? why? why? why?

fer me, i owez want dat person to be wit me, not any one else .. but y do i owez fall fer sumone who already being wit sumone else? why is it dat only dat kinda guy cud understand wat i want? why cant dat young single guy figure out wat i want? wat do i want? i told dis one guy wat i want, but still he couldnt commit to it .. its just a simple thing n i'm willing to give him my whole life n world to .. but dat's actually too much fer him .. is it too much? does wanting a sincere heart to love is too much to ask? does it?

since then i never dare ask again .. sure, love me, care fer me .. but dont ask me wat i want any more, ever .. cos i cant take another broken heart in my heart of hearts .. if i cud show u my heart, i dont think u'd want to see it, cos its full wit cuts, bandages and so many scars .. cos so many people has broken my heart, n now i'm afraid dat if u did break my heart, i couldnt manage to handle d pain anymore .. i'm afraid dat i couldnt glue n fix it back together again, i'm getting weaker by d second ..

why do i have to fall in love wit u? why do u have to act like u care about me? why do u have to show me dat u're concern when all u really care about is urself? why do u have to say all those sweet words wen u knew u never meant any of it? why do u have to break me wen i feel secure? why do u have to let ur words sliced my heart? why do u have to make me feel like i'm all u ever wanted wen u never did want me? why do u have to touch me wen none of it really wat u wanted to do?

all dis why is often in my mind, but u never there to give me my answers .. yes, u still in my mind, so why do u have to leave me without giving me all d explaination so i cud move on wit my life? is there any life fer me wen i see my life already passing me by wit only u in it? u owez say i'll stay strong even without u next to me, i just didnt realizes dat u never meant to stay .. why do u have to mend my broken heart wen all u wanted to do is break it again? and, dont i deserve any love? why do i need to be broken again n again?

years have passed me by, i shud know all dis is bound to happen again, n i was supposed to aware of it .. i do, i really do aware of all dis but why do i let myself lost it in again? i talk to a fren about it, she has become my best fren dis days .. she said, we shud remind our selves where's d limit, dont get beyond ur limitations, love only to be love back .. i knew dat, i swear i already knew dat, but why do i let myself lost in it again n again? i know i shud stop, n i'm going to stop now, n wats going to happen after dis?

let Him set it fer me, i'm not going to interfere anymore .. have i given up? i actually do, i knew most of u wouldnt agree to wat i'm doing, but please .. i cant bear to face another heart broken incident .. thanx fer may be giving me advice after dis, but i'm sure u guys wouldnt want to wasted ur precious time on me .. thanx a lot

happy birthday, Charma ..

Tahun Baru tahun ni hambar je, biase nye tahun baru sya akan ucap selamat hari ulang tahun gak untuk seorang kawan rapat, bukan takat kawan je, mungkin lebih sket .. nama dia Charma, sayang kat die ni .. kat kawan2 lain yang birthday pun sayang gak, cume kat die ni lebih sket .. dah 3 tahun kenal, tapi sekali pun tak sempat nak celebrate birthday die bersama .. teringin nak sambut hari lahir die, nak tengok die senyum sepanjang hari .. pernah janji ngan die nak sambut hari lahir die berdua, tapi setahun sekali tu macam tak pernah nak kesampaian lak .. hmm

setiap kali jupe ngan die hati rasa berdebar2 je, tak tau lak nape .. ade rasa nak jatuh cinta, ader rasa jantung ni cam nak meletup pun .. ntah la cam ner die rasa lak ye .. hmm tahun ni tak dapat nak ucap selamat kat die pun sebab die jauh kat negara orang, so sya nak amik kesempatan ni untuk ucapkan selamat tahun baru dan selamat menyambut hari lahir yang ke-32 .. semoga hari2 mendatang akan memberikan kebahagiaan berpanjangan untuk dia dan anak gadis dia .. semoga hari2 nya akan sentiasa diberkati oleh Yang Maha Esa .. semoga dia boleh kembali ke Malaysia ngan selamat dan bertemu semula ngan sya .. amin ...

The Most Craziest Thing I Did In 2008
Nuang Adventure


27 Disember 2008 Sabtu

Huhuhuhu dah dua bulan diorang plan nak panjat Gunung Nuang nih, sya pun ikut je sebab lia ajak n sebab nak cube sesuatu yang baru .. member2 yang tak jadi ikut antaranya nide ngan pions ngan kuli@antu .. sampai cempaka, lia kata nak tunggu rins lak, ok jer; so kite pun tunggu rins sambil borak2 dalam keta .. sya kata kalau lambat ni mesti rins dah silap amik tren, ekekekke rupe nye betul, rins dah sampai cheras baru die sedar die silap amik tren .. tak pe la tu kan biase leee ekekkeke rilek rins .. comel gak rins ni rupe nyer patut la mamat yang gi sandakan ari tu bukan main hepi lagi dapat jupe rins ekekekke ampunnnn hehehhehe pas amik rins kite balik umah lia jap, nak siapkan n packing barnag yang nak bawak pegi .. sampai umah lia, kitorang di'welkam' oleh ank2 sedara lia, azim n aliya ..

kawan lia; jambu@kubis sampai ngan kawan die, hubby n wife; kitorang pun gerak ke nuang .. alamak aii jalan die boleh buat den poning la oiii .. kubis peramah orangnya, kenal2 ngan rin ngan sya ekekekek tetibe lak pemalu den datang wakhakhakhaka .. sampai pintu masuk, daftar nama then kitorang naik sampai atas, jupe kak tam n geng .. seronok nyer dapat jupe kak tam lagi .. kak tam datang ngan anak die ain, ngan jie n kawan2 diorang; abby, along, angah, ina, ngan zam .. ekekekek sume best, sume peramah n baik2 belaka tapi masa kat bawah tu kan baru first time jupe, so sya ni malu2 kambing jap ekekekekkeke

dah siap2 strecthing sume, kitorang pun mula panjat gunung nuang tu, alamak aiii ketahanan diriku buat malu je ngan sume orang wakhakhakhaka baru la tak sampai 5 minit jalan, mula dah nafas tersekat2, macam dah tak cukup besar lubang idung ni nak sedut udara nyaman ekekekkeke mende laaaa tapi sebab nekad gak nak panjat gunung nuang nih huhuhuhu makin besar semangat den nak mendaki .. lia tak berenti bagi semangat nak daki gunung, bila trek dah makin tinggi makin kuat gak la nafas den turun naik .. stop pertama selepas 15 - 20 minit mendaki, alamak aii, memang tak tahan den, kaki den rasa nak tercabut jo ekekekkekek orang lain ntah dah sampai mana dah tataw la, sebenarnya jam dah menganjak ke jam 6 lebih, takut gak gelap kang sebab lia ngan sya sama2 tak de torch lite .. lawa pemandangan masa nak naik gunung tu, macam hutan kat tempat omputih lak, pokok pine manjang .. suke tul hati sya tengok ..

naik lagi sampai pondok pertama, adeh malu nye nak cakap .. kaki krem sioooootttt malu je tak terkata, lia kata sebab sya bawa beg .. so beg berat, nak mendaki lagi memang susah; nak2 pulak ni first time ekekekkekek adeh sya senyum je, dah tak larat nak cakap sebab malu ngan letih .. sampai pondok first ke second sya tak ingat, jupe ngan kak tam n kengkawan lain .. sya sapu kaki ngan ubat kejang kaki, lia bagi .. kak tam tanye nape, sya kata kaki kejang, die sentap kat betis tak ingat nye sya cume leh adehhh adehhh je wakhakahahk lawak lak bila ingat balik .. kebanyakan masa nak ke camp site tu memang banyak mendaki, kalau la lia tak berpengalaman, mau sya give jam2 sakit kaki tu .. tapi selain rasa sakit kaki, sya tak de lak rasa nak give up ke, nyesal ke .. yang sya pentingkan nak sampai camp site je ..

selepas abih lalu 3 pondok, dan berpuluh kali stop in between sebab kaki asyik kena sentap je .. sya ngan lia sampai ke bukit terakhir yang nak di daki .. adeh lia duk kata yang sikit je lagi nak sampai, hati sya dah seronok sebab nak sampai dah, tapi kaki sya tak paham2 lak .. nak aje tuko kaki ngan lia .. lia bukan main steady lagi, jeles tul sya ekekekekke lia sampai bawak beg sya lagi, sya betul2 tak sampai ati tengok tapi lia tak bagi bawak lagi .. sya cume bawak beg tu bila nak turun bukit je .. sya betul tak sampai ati nak tengok lia pikul beg sya, tapi lia kata kalau lia tak bawak beg sya, nanti sya langsung tak leh jalan ..

so, last stop sya betul2 tak tahan, leh tak nak duk jap sya tanye lia, leh duk la jap .. terus terduduk, betis sya betul dah tak tahan .. lia tekankan ibu jari kaki sya adehhh rasa nak meraung je jam tu wakahkahkahha nasib baik malu huhuhuhu pastu dah ok sket, sya ngan lia teruskan lagi and kali ni betul2 dah sampai yeaaaa bangga nye sya ngan diri sendiri .. walaupun halangan nak sampai tu ya ampunnnn, akhirnye sya sampai gak .. diorang tengah sibuk setup kemah, jambu lak tengah sibuk idupkan lampu ajain die .. ni yang sya tak sabar nak tunjuk ni ...


tadaaaa .. lampu ajaib @ lampu kabait .. bende nye cume cam mug tapi plastik pastu dalam tu ade bekas tertutup ngan batang besi panjang .. dalam bekas tertutup tu isi kabait, pastu dalam mug tu isi air sungai yang sejuk masya Allah .. pastu pasang api kat atas, jadi la lampu ajaib .. wakhakhakhakahka sya punye teruja tengok benda tu, lia gelak je dan jambu@kubis terpaksa la jadi tukang explain benda tu sume .. sya bukan ape, just tak puas ati je apsal lak kabait tu leh ade tindak balas ngan air .. mula la kubis menerangkan sumenye dari a sampai z, tapi sya tetap tak puas ati wakhakhakhakha tak nak terima penerangan kubis ekekekke saje je ni, kalau bab nak sakitkan ati orang bukan main lagi wakhakhakhakha ampun kubisss ... pas dah siap pasang dua2 lampu kabait tu, lia nak masak, sebeno nye sakit kepala, tapi sebab dah ramai2, n gelak2 .. hilang sekejap sakit kepala den .. menu malam tu kari sardin, sayur cendawan campur ngan telur dadar .. kak ida tolong masak gak .. ekekkeke ni dah sampai umah sya tak kire, nak gak buat kari sardin wakahkahkahak

siap2 makan, duk borak2 jap .. pastu kepala sya sakit balik adeehhhhh marah niiii tak tahan tol, dah la ubat sume tinggal, tanye lia die pun tak de gak ubat sakit kepala just ader minyak kapak je .. tak pe la, bear aje la sakit tu .. dah tu sorang2 berangkat masuk tido .. sya ajak lia mandi ekekekke bayangkan masa tu jam 1 pagi .. kubis pandang je tak puas ati wakahkahkahakh turun mandi ngan lia ngan rin .. adoiii makkkk sojukkkkkkkkk dah la golap .. lia masuk air, sya pun nak masuk dalam air gak, tapi nak masuk dalam air tu tak ingat sya nye bebel2 sebab air tu sejuk bukan main lagi .. ekekkekeke dah tu lia siap2 mandi dia ajak naik .. alamak lia ni kejap je ke die nak duk dalam air nih ekekekkekeke potong stim tul lia nih wakhakakhahakhak

first time nih tido beralaskan tanah lembab, pakai sleeping bag, nasib baik sleeping bag yang lia pinjamkan tu ada bantal sendiri wakhakhakha seronok den ekekekek sekali nak beralih tido, adehhh punggung terkena batu la weiiii sakit lak tuuuu adehhh wakhakhakhakh diorang nak start panjat gunung nuang pagi esok, jadi paksa gak tido nih .. sedar2 lia dah sibuk kat dapur, mula malas nyer nak bangun sebab sejuk lagi, tapi bangun gak la nak siapkan sarapan untuk budak2 yang nak gi manjat tu kan, sarapan pagi menu mihun goreng ngan sandwich ngan kopi .. best gile lia masak ekekekkeke sodapp je manjang .. hari minggu lia kata memang ramai yang naik nak panjat gunung ni, memang betul lia cakap, dari yang muda sampai la yang tua .. tak kira ni bertongkat2 pun nak naik gak .. ader yang peramah tegur2 gak la kitorang nih .. kul 9 pagi tu diorang start naik diketuai oleh jambu, lia tak pegi sebab die rasa tak sihat, sya pun tak kan nak bagi lia pergi kalau lia rasa tak sihat .. diorang gerak je, yang tinggal, kak ida n hubbyn kak tam ngan ain n sya ngan lia ..

nak mandi dulu ke nak masak??? lia kate masak dulu la, sepanjang camping ni, macam2 resepi lia yang sya belajar ekekek tengahari tu kak ida ngan hubby die gi mancing, dapat la ikan sengal, jadi la ikan sengal goreng, kak tam goreng terubuk masin, lia buat telur masak lemak cili api, ngan kacang buncis tumis ngan carrot, ngan sambal tumis ikan bilis .. sume jadi kecuali masak lemak sebab lia lupa bawak serbuk kunyit ekekkekekek best tul .. siap2 masak, kitorang turun mandi .. air tetap sejuk ni, tapi sebelum turun mandi tu nampak jie ngan zam sampai .. ekekek cian diorang, tak sempat nak sampai puncak sebab tak larat .. turun mandi, best gak sungai die, sebab sepanjang sungai tu cam ader kolam2 .. ader yang dalam, fullamak best giler berendam mandi .. siap2 mandi ape sume naik rehat, tunggu diorang sampai lak sambil2 tu masak ..menu malam tu ayam masak merah ngan sup sayur ngan ikan masin baki siang tadi .. then tunggu diorang sampai .. hujan lak turun tak berenti, tempat tido sya ngan lia abih basah .. lia betulkan kemah .. then kitorang tunggu diorang yang dari puncak sampai ..

kul 7 tak sampai gak, lia kata sepatutnye at least kul 7 diorang patut sampai .. kul 8 pun tak de gak, lia dah tak senang duduk, sya pun duk risau .. mana tak risau weeiiii anak2 dara orang tu sume .. sya tak leh bayangkan perjalanan diorang turun n naik tu macam mana, tapi sya tetap rasa risau .. masuk kul 9 sume tak leh tenang dah, lia ajak jie naik cari diorang, jie pun pegi la ngan lia .. sya sabarkan diri sendiri, sebab risaukan lia gak .. tak sampai 10 minit lia pegi sya ternampak cahaya lampu, alhamdulillah akhirnye diorang sampai gak .. sya pinjam torchlite kak tam gi suluh jalan diorang gak dari depan .. tengok muke sorang2 kesiannye, letih, memang dah tak larat dah la, diorang gi mandi, pastu makan pastu masuk tido sume .. tinggal sya, lia n kubis borak2 .. sya duk fikir cam ne la nak tido ni, lapis tido dah basah lak .. ekekekke


<--ni kemah tempat sya n lia tido selama 2 malam, ni lia tengah nak kemas dah nak balik ni .. ekekek sya je sibuk nak amik gambo jap







ni lak kemah kak tam n kengkawan kak tam, jie, ain, --> abby, zam, along, angah, ngan ina






dah nak balik .. on d way nak balik tu sume dah terkedek2 jalan termasuk la sya ekekekekke seronok dapat mendaki nuang ngan korang sume .. kalau ader lagi lain kali nak panjat nuang, hati2 la ye ehehehhehe




salamssss

Mandi Sungai Kat Serendah .. (ade air terjun)


rasa rindu betul pulak nak menjejakkan kaki ke air terjun serendah ni .. sampai je kat gigi air, terus tengok air terjun die dulu, pastikan air terjun tu masih bangga berdiri kat situ .. memang cantik, megah and air pun sejuk segar gitu .. anak2 kakak sya sume dah tak sabar nak masuk dalam air tu, sya nak jerit2 dah sebab yang kecik tu tak mo tunggu ibu die dah .. adeh tetibe lak pening, tapi sebab nak masuk kat bawah air terjun nyer pasal, tak ku peduli pening pun wakhakhakah ..


dapat lak duk kemah hujung, sepah sket ngan sampah, sya ngan kakak terus mulakan proses pembersihan, buang sume sampah, siram air bagi tak de pasir .. kemas dah, seronok nyer nak berkelah cam ni .. yieehaaaa eh, tak de la terjun masuk dalam air tu, kakak sya kate kang kering air sungai kalau sya lompat masuk .. mula la akak sya tu buat lawak aram die .. silambam kakak masuk dalam air wakhakhakhahkaka padan muke die .. kitorang makan2 alas perut sket ngan mihun goreng ngan rendang daging beli kat gerai bawah pokok tu huyyooo sodap gile rendang diee alamak aiii .. pas tu dah puas hati nak tinggalkan pondok tu jap, sya ngan kakak pun masuk dalam air, fuhhh segar gile airr tak lak sejuk kul 10 lebih tu ..




kitorang main kat tepi2 je dulu, malu2 la kunun ngan air terjun tu, wakhakhakah tak lawak tol kakak sya ngan air terjun tu .. die tak tahan duk kena tolak ngan deras air terjun tu, sya suh die amik gambo sya kat tengah air terjun tu .. wakhakhakha bangga siot ... iyer la agak nyer ekekkekekek dah abih amik2 gambo, naik balik, makan sekali lagi lak pas tu turun lagi 2nd session ekekkeke seronok gileee sya nak je ikut anak2 sedara sya main lompat2 dari tebing sambil bergayut tu, tapi sedar diri la pulak sya nih wakhakhakhaa adeh adehhh anak sedara sya yang kecik tu amierah, takut2 lak nak main air, geram je sya nengok, kang tak bawak mandi sungai duk sebut2 lak mandi sungai tak berenti ..


khaliq n ain nak terjun tiruk masuk dalam air ..

sungai serendah

Quote Comments

If you're mad at someone.., and nobody's there to fix..
You fix it.. Maybe 2day, dat person
still wants to be ur fren...
And if u don't..,2moro may be too late .....

If you're in love with someone,
but that person doesn't know....
tell her/him
Maybe 2 day, dat person is
also in love with you...
And if you dont's say it
2moro may be too late...

If you remember a person
that you think has forgotten you....
tell her/him
Maybe that person have
always remembered you.
And if you don't tell
her/him 2day,
2moro may be too late....

If you need a hug from a friend...
tel her/him for it..
Maybe they need it more..
than you do,
And if you don't ask for it 2day,
2moro may be too late

If you have frenz who you really appreciate...
tell them..
Maybe they appreciate you as well
If you don't tell and they
leave or go far away...
2moro may be too late....

So guys and gals ... say it before it to late .....

Quote Comments & Graphics

hmm, i was remembering this sumone just about now .. he's been gone fer quite sum times now, but actually i was wondering; did he leave because he really have to, or did he leave because he didnt have d courage of telling me so? all of d sudden i'm sad, just because of d thot dat i really m losing him fer real now. tapi kan, die bukan nyer jenis yang macam tu, main belah je bile dah tak suke; he looks as if he wud swim thru d whole ocean to have me; atau mungkin saya cuma terlalu angkuh dan berfikiran seperti itu .. teruknya perangai saya rupe nyer .....

i've been reading thru all d stuff about him dat i can remember, he really is d one man dat u cud ever want. he is charming, caring, loving, religiously great, and honest and hmmm i cud talk about him my whole time .. but i wonder if he did think of me, as if i think of him now ..

Quote Pictures



Quote Graphics



Quotes



Quote Graphics



Quote Comments & Graphics



Quote Pictures



Quote Comments & Graphics

hmmm boring nye .. laman pun tak de orang dah jam2 ni, setahun dua dulu jam ni la makin hebat orang, siap gaduh2 lagi ..ehehheheh .. tapi ni tak de lak, bosan tul .. sape ek kengkawan dalam laman ni, ader andelia, ceng, kak tam, baby darling .. lagi sape ek, oo kak df, kak oby, mek, kak jue, kak she, baby tembam .. ader airahman(yang dah lama tak masuk), nide(dulu jkong), aerol lion(pun dah tak nampak muke), adot .. lagi sape ek .. cool, saint, ehem, abgbest, gen2, scorpions, gamat .. sape lagi la yang tak tersebut ..

ader ramai sebeno nye tapi dah tak ingat nama .. ekekkek sebenarnye dari sejak mula, kalau dalam laman ni tak de yang jupe pun .. tapi sejak masuk tahun ni, dah jupe lia, ceng, kak tam masa bulan posa .. masa raya jupe jet lak, dah tu masa gath jupe kak tam, kak oby n family, kak df n abg zz n family ..

pas tu ader gen2 ngan gothic, 3h ngan semut pun ader .. pastu apple tree dari seremban, lagi ader sape ek, yang sya tak penah chat pun dapat kenal2 gak, cam labu, lanun n kengkawan diorang .. ooppp lupe lak, rush pun ader .. alahai minah2 kat sebelah tu, masing2 control ayu kuang kuang kuang .. tu amik masa gi umah kak tam tu, kak tam masak sodapppp .. menu umah kak tam ialah mee kari, pas tu ade ketupat palas, lia kesedapan lak makan ketupat palas tu ekekekekek pastu ader aper lagi ek tak ingat lak .. oo ye ader agar2 gak sodappp .. kitorang sampai umah kak tam bukan cam nak beraya ekekekek siap terus serbu sampai ke dapur lak tu .. buruk tul perangai nyer kui kui kui

yang ni lak masa gath kat umah ceng, mula2 tu was2 gak takut ader slack kat mana2 ke kan, ke ader pa per masalah last minit ke kan .. tapi alhamdulillah sume ok jer .. menu ari tu, nasi ayam (lia order .. sodappp), pas tu ader sate kajang .. then kak tam bawak laksa (pun sodapppp gak) .. pastu ader desert ceng buat agar2 santan, then fruit cocktail, pastu ader buah (salad buah ker ek? lupe lak) then ader puding karamel(yang telah dikerjakan oleh sya n lia malam sebelum nyer) wakahkahakhahkah .. alhamdulillah sume kenyang n hepi .. yang tak best sebab sume kejar masa .. tak leh duk lama2 n sembang panjang2 ..

setelah bertahun melangut kat laman tu, baru ni la jupe ngan orang2 laman ehehehhe sume tak sangka leh jupe sya, sya pun tak sangka ader keberanian nak jupe sume orang .. terima kasih sebab sudi berkenalan n berkawan ngan sya sume .. muah muah(untuk yang ponpuan je) n salam tuk yang lelaki :)

persahabatan,
manjalinkan kasih dan mesra,
biar tulus ikhlas dihati,
jangan lah dikhianati,
kepada temanmu kawan ....

i was so cought up to dis fairy tale things dat make me a fairy tale freak ..
happily ever after stuff .. prince charming saving me on a white horse ..
dat i'll owez be happy .. dat i'll owez knew dat i cud have my own happiness ..

dat all have make me forget about reality most of d time ..
dats y when reality strikes back at me i dont feel my life have any value left ..
i'm such a loser n all i really wanted is to end all dis ..

i've been so lost, blank and all i cud ever want is sumone who cud appreciate me ..
luv me fer who i am, never push me wen i said no ..
persuaded me might work on sum things ..
but not wen i lost my mood over things .. personal things ..

i'm devastated ..
i'm heart broken ..
i'm frustrated beyond words ..
angel might never looked at me ..
God may never bless me ..
so wat on earth am i doing here ..????

i'm willing to take my own life ..
but my faith said its not worth it ..
so i wait n wait ..

i wish fer my happy ending which wont ever come ..
i wish fer a prince charming on a white steed who never appear ..
i wish i cud be happy fer who i am ..

but there's still sumone or sumthing who wants to take it away from me ..
wat wrong have i done?
why shud i cry fer matters i shudn't have to ..?

a company ..
a shoulder ..
a smile ..
care ..
love ..
caress ..

i guess dats a long list to fullfill ..
i shud never ask so much ..
i'll just stop ..

its time ..


have u ever caught up in a moment where u know u shud learn to let things go? or may be just go on wit d flow n let things be fer wat ever reason it is? i have, but then i dont know why is it so hard to let it go .. is it cos of d feelings dat attached to it, or is it cos u dont want to take things fer granted, either way i'm still lose .. a most pathetic loser u've ever knew ..

i have tried to at least just let sense come in every one, but none of it actually matters to them .. either they really like to hurt me or they just dont care .. but i do, i do care about every one i knew n especially d one who get dat close to me .. but i just lost d sense to b strong to face dis sense dat makes no fact to me at all ..

this is d time to let go, but i wonder, if i let this go, only to fine out i havent try hard enough, i'll regret it my whole life .. but then, wen will this end n where will it took me? i'm still waiting, hoping fer u to come back .. i know i look pathetic like dis but, at least i'm trying in any possible way i know i can .. i'm so sad right now, u know u can bring smile to my face so please .....

i'm begging u

just end dis .. (if u wish so ..)


is it wrong to have loved sumone so deary?
is it wrong to love sumone one dat much dat u willing to let go off everything?
is it wrong to love without have to question everything?

i knew u, i get to know u, i met u .. n i have said i love u even before i meet up wit u .. i didnt mean to bored u wit myself, but if u didnt really want to love me, u can just say so, so i wont b hurt as much as dis .. did i ask so much of u dat u cant stand me anymore?

i'm so sorry, very sorry if u have felt dat way, just let me know dat u didnt need to b wit me anymore, so i wont bother u ever again .. wat have i done wrong?

so, dis is it .. dis is d last time u will ever see one piece of me, i wish u well, i wish u ur happiness, i wish u wouldnt treat anyone else like u did me .. thanx netlog, fer giving me another chance to met n to love dis sumone ..

i wish i can still cuddle in ur arms like before, i wish i can still feel safe wit u just like before, i wish i can love u for ever .. but, i guess i was never in ur list of happiness ..

True love ..


True love is when you shed a tear and still want him. It's when he ignores
you and you still love him. It's when he loves another you still smile and
say I'm happy for you. When all you really do is cry...and cry.

i just happen to find dis wen i was looking fer sumthing over d internet, is it really true? well, i guess it is .. cos i do happen to cry fer u, wen u havent call or sms me over 24hours, but i still want u .. wen i feel u're too busy to remembers me, i still love u as much as i cud have ..

childish u might say of me, but i happen to have lots of love fer u n all i ever want is u .. n i'm hoping dat u cud have want me as much as i have of u .. hmm, how i wish i cud b next to u n be pampered again .. u r so much in my mind, m i in urs too?

me .. (am i gud enough??)

hye ..

ermm, its been great 2, 3 days ago .. i'm all dats on ur mind, but now .. suddenly u sound different, i'm become afraid .. afraid dat may b u dun need me anymore, afraid dat u might sumone else but me .. i dun kno but may b i sound strange, but dats how i feel today ..

my heart says things i didnt wanna kno or listen to, cos i trust u .. i hope u kno i do, i really do .. its just sad, really sad ..

m i not gud enough?
i've tried but may be not enough
m i not gud enough?
tell me, so i wont do same thing twice ..

i dun kno wat is it dat make me so sad
is it dat i care so much about u
or is it dat i dun wanna lose u
either way, i m sad wen u're not here

teary eyes ..


i sit there silently,
my eyes was empty,
its u dat i see,
but u're not there, in my reality ..

i stood there motionlessly,
my eyes still empty,
its still u dat i see,
but u're still not there in my reality ..

i watch tv, solemnly,
my eyes was teary,
i remembers wat u say to me,
dat u care fer me, dat u need me ..

i believe u, i trusted u, n now i still do,
but i'm not sure wat hapen n i dont know wat i'll do,
i still misses u n hoping u know dat i do,
but may b i was wrong dat u no longer need me to ..

its just sumthing i didnt wish to know, dat i have been left alone .. i said to a fren, dat i'm already geting used to be left alone n now i'm imune to loneliness, sadness n sorrowness dat cud surround me. yesterday, i was watching astro kirana movie in title 'Driving Miss Wealthy' .. i couldnt care a less about d driving n how to make miss wealthy understand how hard it is to earn money .. but looking how lovingly d actress n d actor towards each other .. m so touched ..

all d sudden i felt my cheek felt warm, sumthing runing down my cheek .. my eyes suddenly seeing blurry images .. i'm crying silently .. i was thinking about u, i'm getting worried .. no news fer days, dats not how exactly u wud act to me .. u pomise me u will tell mehow u're doing, but nuthin .. we've been so far, n yet u still sent me to be more apart from u ..

its fine, if dats wat u want .. i cant say anything more then wat i've already said .. i was wishing we cud b more then dis, but my luck is not so gud .. i praise u ..
may u have everything u want in dis world, may u have al d hapiness u deserved .. i'm just gonna stay silent, no more promises ..

wat happen??


hmm .. i was so happy being on top of d wheel, i was so preoccupied of being happy n forget dat d wheel can turn any second n bring me so down to a level i cant even imagine being there anymore ever again .. but, like it or not, i'm there at d downside of d wheel .. how frustrated i must be?

at first things went so well, n i'm smiling all d time .. but may b i've missed a step, or two, dat i didnt realize wat i did was wrong, n have hurt u without knowing i do .. all i ever wanted was fer me to behappy, fer me to make u happy .. but i was too busy making sure u're happy, i've forgoten wat u really want .. n now, i'm wondering ..

do u really like me, sincerely .. or may be cos i've pushed u to feel dat way ... do u really happy being wit me, honestly .. or may b u claim dat cos of sympathy by me being pathetic? may be sumone might ask, where's my instinct now dat telling me u r sincere to me before? where's my bravery of telling u how i felt, n teling u wat i feel now?

i'm so sorry to have wrote dis, may be u didnt like it at all .. i can just delete it later, yea i will .. seems like i've given up on u, may b i am .. but not given up on u, but i've given up on me .. on me alone .. hmm sorry, m to caught up wit dis whole thing .. i should not expecting things cud turn out differntly fer us, i shouldt not have done dat .. hmm ............

all i wish was fer u
to have find ur happiness
to have found ur greatness

all i wish was fer u
to owez b happy
to owez be great

all i wish was fer u
to be here n now
to be near n close

but i guess it's ok
if i'm not ur happiness anymore
cos i'm sure u'll find one on ur own

n thank you .. so much

aku dan ke'aku'anku ..

selalu aku mebayangkan kemungkinan untuk memilikimu, tapi kemungkinan yang aku bayangkan amat sedikit untuk menjadi nyata .. selalu aku menginginkan dirimu, akan tetapi keinginan ku terhalang kerana kesendirian dirimu .. selalu aku bermimpikan dirimu, tapi aku kehilangan dirimu saat mataku celik sewaktu dinihari ..

aku dan ke'aku'an ku ..
mengingini sesuatu yang dibatasi waktu
mengimpikan sesuatu yang dihalangi temu
memiliki satu yang tak mungkin jadi kepunyaanku

dimana kamu yang ingin ku miliki
kerana ku rasa kurang bila sendiri
dimana kamu yang selalu ku impi
kerana ku rasa sedih sekali

aku mencari sesuatu yang tak pasti milikku, tapi pencarian ini serasa bererti .. aku berlari mengejar sesuatu yang samar, tapi samar hilang ditelan sesuatu yang gelap .. aku berdiri disini, kerana mengharapkan arah darimu yang mungkin mahu mengerti ..

aku dan ke'aku'an ku ..
mengingini, membayangi, dan mengimpi
sedar semuanya akan hilang tapi masih mahu berharap

aku dan ke'aku'an ku ..
mencari, mengejar dan akhirnya cuma berdiri
sedar ke'aku'an ku bukan abadi
akhirnya aku pergi mengundur diri ......................



umi and cucu umi
(luv umi so much)

illusions, or just adreamers?


sumone once told me, i was a dreamer .. i ask myself, wats wrong by being a dreamer? then d other person jump into d picture n telling lots of wrongs to be jst a dreamer ..

he said :
to a dreamer i cannot touch, i send my love in a lullaby ..
to a lips i cannot kiss, i blow u one right now ..
fer a waist i cannot hold, i send to u my biggest hugs ..
fer a love i cannot consummate, i send to u my hottest letters ..
i only see u thru my computer, but i love u just d same ..
so i send to u dis page of dreams, n dis wonderful lullaby fer u to sleep ..
so we can hear it as we sleep, n touch in our dreams ...

i was captured by dat, probably i shouldnt but i did .. its just so sweet n i wish i'm d only person to receive dis appreciation, but may be i'm just too cought up n didnt want to think otherwise .. it has blinded my eyes to see, deafen my very ears to listen .. shallowing my mind to think further ahead.

its been years, but still d grasp of everthing seems very tight .. i was hoping u cud help me get out of dis, but may be i have ask so much of u dat i shouldnt have .. its been even lonelier at times like dis, but wishes dont come true anymore .. i wish to do things i wanted to do, i wish i can make u here n be two, i wish so hard dat i can make me happy, i wish .. i wish .. i wish ..

may be i should just gave up, i wanna feel wat its like being a quitter .. i wanna know wat it feels like being a loser .. i'll be quiet from everyone, i guess dat will make everyone happier .. dont mind me, i'm just a person who passed by in ur life .. wish u a great life ahead ..